shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
