why didn't you poke me back
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
