What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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