I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
