I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He kissed a someone with a penis
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
NoShamevember. You game?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
