My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize