I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
