porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
me + whiskey = a bad person
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
