we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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