This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Every concussion has its silver lining
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize