Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
