he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
