I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
