East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
this just has baby written all over it
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
