Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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