the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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