Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
