you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
