my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
