I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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