I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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