You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She told me I should be a condom model.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
