How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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