If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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