yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
