Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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