Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
