Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
