As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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