im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
