Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize