I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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