I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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