i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
