Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
