guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
