were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I have fence marks all over my body
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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