Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
