Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
