i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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