So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
