please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
