using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
