Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
