he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
