the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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