i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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