my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
