he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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