Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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