its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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