Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
