We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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