I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
