i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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