If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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