I smell stomach acid.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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