Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
