that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
